Lately, I have been feeling like this... like one big sucker walking down the street. It wasnt bad in Hanoi, but it really took hold in Cat Ba, and has become downright annoying as we move south through the country. Yes, I'm talking about just about every streetside hawker looking at my skin color, and deciding to spit out the only English phrase he has been taught to say, "hello, motorbike" or the more to-the-point, "hello, buy something" or the worst one, "hello, give me money". I'm not one to generalize, but honestly it's hard not to over here. Its predictable with 99.99% accuracy who will approach us and what they will say. And dont judge too quickly either, we put up with it for a while first. Once frustration got the best of me, I decided to not resist it anymore, but instead fight fire with fire. Now, with every question received, I give a question in return. This really gets people confused if their vocabulary is limited to phrases trying to squeeze every last penny from my wallet. But, on the rare occasion that something is returned in polite English, a fun conversation of "where are you from" and "how old are you" can carry on for about 30 seconds until they casually let you know that their second cousin has a tailor shop down the street, or a hotel around the corner. Maybe I sound arrogant or rude, but put yourself in my shoes. Seriously, if you have any suggestions, send me a comment, I'm still trying to perfect this art of dealing with hawkers.
Now for the story of the "Vietnamese Truth". There are a few to tell, but I think it is best explained by our episodes in Hoi An. We arrive on a sunny afternoon and step off our tour bus to look for a hostel. Based on the story above, you might have already guessed that about 10 different guys grab us and try to steer us to their wonderful hostels. Promises of free breakfast, internet, bicycles, swimming pool are thrown around in an attempt to separate one hostel from the next. So, we pick one and head for the hostel only to realize on arrival that he has taken back most of what he has said. Suddenly the price is now 25% more (like we wouldnt notice), breakfast and bicycles no longer exists, unlimited internet turns into 20 minutes each, and the swimming pool is actually located at his friends hotel down the street. It would all sound petty to me too if I read this in the States, but its about principle! So based on this recurrence, we have sadly started refering to these promises as just more "vietnamese truth". I really do hate putting up this guard though; I love seeing the good in everyone, but its a struggle when their motivations are written on their foreheads...
Episode number two: Motorbike Mafia. Our half-truth telling hotel manager learns that we want to rent motorbikes for the following day and insists that we rent from his sister. Why not? But for some reason he wants us to rent them that night for a 24 hour period. Strange, but we agree that if they are stolen it is on him, and proceed with the agreement. All seems well in the morning when we start up our bikes to head off for a fun day at a beach 30km away. Before I can even put my bike in gear, a random guy runs across the street and grabs on my bike, preventing me from moving and says that I cant take this bike out. I tell him about my agreement and try to maneuver around him. Now, about 15 of his buddies surround the three of us, and say the same thing to Carson and Andrew. They cant speak much English except that they will not let us ride the bikes we rented, but instead we can rent crappy ones from them. Ahhh, it all makes sense now; they are just mad they didnt get the sale. Now, I'm over them and try to leave again, but a police officer (or maybe a guy in a costume, I will never know) arrives at the scene. Now the unknown raises this situation to another level. The sister we rented from finally shows up, and the police take her three motorbikes to the impound (maybe...; again, we will never really know). The next day she promises us a free day of motorbikes for our inconvenience. Nice gesture; but conveniently they are not ready the next day, or the day after that. After the second, "they will be ready tomorrow, but when do you leave town" comment, I decided to tell here that we would stay until we get to ride the bikes, she freezes up and suddenly cant speak English any longer. We tried to tranfer her debt to her brother and his motorbikes, but that was a lost cause.
Traveling is weird here in Vietnam. We spend our days trying not to let the hawkers get the best of us, and each town has been built up too much in our heads, but still, life is good. Each day brings a new adventure and keeps us on our toes. I only have one week left until my visa expires, so we will be off to Cambodia shortly. Now, I am off to drink a round of bia hoi in the street again, but this time with a Vietnamese guy we met today who worked with the US as a translator during the war. Could be an interesting night of story...
Now for the story of the "Vietnamese Truth". There are a few to tell, but I think it is best explained by our episodes in Hoi An. We arrive on a sunny afternoon and step off our tour bus to look for a hostel. Based on the story above, you might have already guessed that about 10 different guys grab us and try to steer us to their wonderful hostels. Promises of free breakfast, internet, bicycles, swimming pool are thrown around in an attempt to separate one hostel from the next. So, we pick one and head for the hostel only to realize on arrival that he has taken back most of what he has said. Suddenly the price is now 25% more (like we wouldnt notice), breakfast and bicycles no longer exists, unlimited internet turns into 20 minutes each, and the swimming pool is actually located at his friends hotel down the street. It would all sound petty to me too if I read this in the States, but its about principle! So based on this recurrence, we have sadly started refering to these promises as just more "vietnamese truth". I really do hate putting up this guard though; I love seeing the good in everyone, but its a struggle when their motivations are written on their foreheads...
Episode number two: Motorbike Mafia. Our half-truth telling hotel manager learns that we want to rent motorbikes for the following day and insists that we rent from his sister. Why not? But for some reason he wants us to rent them that night for a 24 hour period. Strange, but we agree that if they are stolen it is on him, and proceed with the agreement. All seems well in the morning when we start up our bikes to head off for a fun day at a beach 30km away. Before I can even put my bike in gear, a random guy runs across the street and grabs on my bike, preventing me from moving and says that I cant take this bike out. I tell him about my agreement and try to maneuver around him. Now, about 15 of his buddies surround the three of us, and say the same thing to Carson and Andrew. They cant speak much English except that they will not let us ride the bikes we rented, but instead we can rent crappy ones from them. Ahhh, it all makes sense now; they are just mad they didnt get the sale. Now, I'm over them and try to leave again, but a police officer (or maybe a guy in a costume, I will never know) arrives at the scene. Now the unknown raises this situation to another level. The sister we rented from finally shows up, and the police take her three motorbikes to the impound (maybe...; again, we will never really know). The next day she promises us a free day of motorbikes for our inconvenience. Nice gesture; but conveniently they are not ready the next day, or the day after that. After the second, "they will be ready tomorrow, but when do you leave town" comment, I decided to tell here that we would stay until we get to ride the bikes, she freezes up and suddenly cant speak English any longer. We tried to tranfer her debt to her brother and his motorbikes, but that was a lost cause.
Traveling is weird here in Vietnam. We spend our days trying not to let the hawkers get the best of us, and each town has been built up too much in our heads, but still, life is good. Each day brings a new adventure and keeps us on our toes. I only have one week left until my visa expires, so we will be off to Cambodia shortly. Now, I am off to drink a round of bia hoi in the street again, but this time with a Vietnamese guy we met today who worked with the US as a translator during the war. Could be an interesting night of story...
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